I already know that this post is going to be an uncomfortable for many people, but new information and research has been presented to me and I would like to share.
Today I am going to write about same sex attraction according to some of the research that has been brought to my attention. The research suggests that maybe people are not born homosexual, but they rather develop it.
Take a little boy for an example. He was born to a typical family unit consisting of a mother and a father. As a toddler, he did not display as many aggressive or competitive behaviors that are more typically found in young males. In fact, he is considered quite passive compared to his peers. On his first day of elementary school, instead of wanting to go and play outside with the other boys, he prefers to stay indoors and draw with the little girls. This begins a pattern during his elementary years that cause him to be alienated by his male peers since he does not engage in the same activities as them that would create friendships. As he begins to grow, the rift grows larger. He finds that he has trouble connecting with other boys and even his own brothers, and maybe even his own father because he does not have those same shared the same experiences. With this rift come a longing for connection or non-sexual intimacy. His longing for connection is fulfilled to some degree by his female friends, but not fully satisfied. As this disconnect increases, he finds himself longing for a connection in specific with his male peers. One day, around 8th grade, out of the blue, one of the boys start to talk to him and he begins feels something he has never felt before. It is a new and exciting sensation and to be honest, it makes him want to be physically close to this boy. It is such a powerful emotion that it almost scares him, and he begins to question why he feel such a strong desire to be close this other boy. It is around this time that new ideas and concepts are being introduced to him, one of them being homosexuality. He begins to wonder if this is an explanation for why he has this new desire. By the time he has graduated high school, he has positively identified himself as homosexual or gay. He has found who is and now he will find fulfillment through relationships with other men. End of story
This would be the end of the story if it wasn’t for Dean Byrd’s theory.
Dean Byrd was one of the first therapist to work with individuals who struggled with homosexuality and were seeking help. He developed a theory, which a called a developmental theory of sexual orientation, and I found it to be quite intriguing. I have attached a picture of the model below.
According to this model, sexual orientation can be developed instead of it being thrust up someone. Let’s take the story of the little boy for example and compare him to this model. Biologically, he was born male, but his temperament was a bit abnormal for a young male. He preferred to be creative instead of do more manly things like playing sport. This could be considered atypical activity for a male. Also, he also felt more comfortable with girls since they seam to enjoy more of the things he enjoyed. In consequence, the other boys did not connect with him as well as the girls did. He was alienated and grew up with being told that he is different to the point that he believes it. Naturally he is going to have a longing to be accepted and close to those who have rejected him, in this case other males, and when another male interacts with him there will naturally be a sense of arousal. It is thrilling to be accepted by those who have rejected you for so long, but some may get this thrill confused with a sexual thrill. According to this theory, it is around this time that the same-sex orientation is developed and then carried into adulthood.
Dean Byrd, along with other therapist, presented this theory to their clients who were wanting to change their sexuality and it had a surprising effect. Many of them have changed their sexuality from homosexuality to heterosexuality, which has been seen to have a correlation with better mental health and greater happiness.
There is still the question of is it possible to be born homosexual. Though Social Science has not proved it is not possible, they have proven genetics were not a contributing factor. Social Scientist created twin studies and what they found was that if one twin was gay, then there was only a 52% percent chance that the other will be gay. Among identical twins, it should be a hundred percent.
Just some interesting theories to consider.
The Family Lab 